For the pure JOY of it...

I have been struggling with recent comparisons of my paintings that have left me without inspiration. In my attempts for originality I had failed to make a connection and for some that saw my work, they only saw another's. I was lost to reason and obsessed over my perceived lack of originality. It was as if someone told me to SHUT UP...it was a slap in the face...a slammed door...a ruler rapped on the back of my knuckles. My ego was not only bruised by broken.

See, this is the problem with choosing a creative path: sensitivity is heightened. The paper we push is meant to be treasured. Even our doodles have intention. We do not abide by check lists and results oriented goals, profit and loss sheets, or marketing strategies. These are just activities we must do to help pay the bills. Instead we are moved by a nod of approval and the utterance of 3 little words..."I like it." I LIKE IT enough to include in the show, I LIKE IT enough to hang on my wall, I LIKE IT enough to give it to a friend.

What I didn't realize was that those 3 words needed to be spoken by ME...the "artist". I recently found my VALIDATION at the bottom of my paint tubes. I dusted them off from a long summer hiatus and squeezed the paints onto my favorite palette. The colors did not forget me! My hands did not betray me. It felt good to have paint underneath my fingernails. The thing with painting or writing or any other creative activity is that you have to set your EGO aside and not be concerned with comparisons or critiques. Your only concern should be the ACTIVITY of creation and how much YOU LIKE IT!

As for originality, well is anything really ever original? I had my studio mate, Laura Gaffke, take a quick picture of my hands and palette...because I LIKED how that moment felt. I loved how my hands were messy with paint and the palette was full of rich, lovely color. On the same day, I saw a beautiful photograph my friend Joy had taken of her own paint spattered hands. It seemed to scream I LIKE IT! Our hands, the moment we chose to document said it all. We both LOVED what we were doing and shared that moment. Original? Maybe not but the moment was just ours and it was LOVED.

Photo by: Joyita Neerkaje

Photo of: (me) Millie Donovan